Tokenism?

I see the annual corned beef and cabbage orgy is getting under way in Irish-America. This sort of carry on. Don't get me wrong now. I quite like Filter,Guinness and eggs and ordinarily would not have a problem with any of this. I just get a bit mumpy in the run-up to St.Patrick's day with the cringe inducing fuck acting and "Sure an' begorrah" imbecility that runs rampant here at this time of year.

Apparently we (I mean the Irish 'we') are so easy -going we don't mind having our accents mimicked,assumptions made about our sobriety and our willingness to engage in casual fistfights. I've been asked about all three in the last 24 hrs. Maybe it's a symptom of my advancing dotage that I find this stuff increasingly irritating. Maybe not. I recall getting highly pissed when a bookstore employee thought it would be a hoot to imitate my accent at a Frank McCourt book signing over 10 years ago. Would she have done the same if I were Indian? French? Chinese maybe? Like fuck she would.

So when Finn's teacher asked if I would come in and do a little presentation on Ireland next week I jumped at the chance. But wait! This is a kindergarten class. Did she promise them Leprechauns or something? I mean I hadn't planned to hammer home the injustices of the current kleptocracy and financial collapse to a bunch of 5 year olds but we sure as shit won't be doing Riverdance either. Thankfully Finn's teacher is a clued-up young woman and sent home a note with some suggestions for the presentation. Not a bit of plastic paddywhackery was listed. I had jumped to a conclusion and done the very thing I am quick to jump on in others.

Next Tuesday then I'll be talking to a class full of smallies in the foothills of Appalachia. It'll be fun and lively. There'll be music,storytelling,maps and photos. I'll teach them how to count to ten in Irish and the classic "An bfhuil cead agam*.... " I'll baffle them with old money,Euros and school jumpers. I'll befuddle them with a hurley and a rugby ball and I'll show them a flag or two. I'll tell them of my home and of Finn's heritage and we'll all nibble on Club Goldgrains. I'll drink tea with the teachers and send each child home with a coin with a harp on it.

I'll be Super Paddy.



* Literally "Is there permission upon me to..."