I really didn't have anything to fear or hide (the cross gave me a moment of anxiety) but being innocent was no guarantee of freedom in East Germany. I peered out the window and saw two Grepos being led down the track by the largest German Shepherd I have ever seen. There was a lot of shouting in German and well armed troopers in battle dress didn't even try to be subtle as they went from compartment to compartment in that slow,studied and very Communist way.
A peremptory knock on my already open compartment and I was facing a more formally uniformed officer and a German rail conductor.
"Ihre Papiere bitte"
I had to suppress a smile here. Was this fella for real? This would have been funny if it wasn't my passport I was handing over. The deliberately Prussian uniform complete with jackboots and leather gloves put me in mind of Lt. Gruber (and his little tank) from 'Allo 'Allo. Now in those days there was no such thing as a casual backpacking trip around Eastern Europe. All arrangements had to be made well in advance and all sorts of bureaucracy placated. It was incredibly tedious and deliberately made that way so as to discourage any deviation from approved tours and facilities. Independence ,in thought and travel,was a punishable offence and you only had to get a glimpse of the border fortifications to tell you that. They were designed to keep people in. Not out.
Fortunately I was arriving in the DDR from a "Fraternal Socialist Republic" and had arranged for a three day transit visa well in advance. The questions that followed were the usual ones asked at any point of entry. Duration,purpose and point of origin and so on. Lt.Gruber already had the answers my visa application but he was trying to see if I'd give a different answer. Some class of an NCO entered the compartment and replaced the railway fella. He asked me to open my rucksack for a brief inspection. They were clearly bored but went through the motions anyway. Once this was done ( contents of rucksack were determined to be non-threatening) the officer took my passport and left for some serious rubber stamping. This was one of those moments. Those few,passport less minutes stretched out long and long.
It wasn't widely known at the time but the passport and visa jockeys all worked for the Stasi. So even though they wore Border Guard uniforms they were part of something far more sophisticated and menacing. At least the Grepos looked like a pack of bastards. A case of Lt.Gruber morphing into a far more sinister and effective Herr Flick as it were. I'm glad I didn't know. I was scared enough.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Zeitgeist Zwei
It was time. Disengaging from her embrace I kept my eyes closed as if that would make the parting less real. It only served to focus on the fact that we were connected now only by our fingertips. I wasn't expecting her to laugh so at the sound of her unmistakable amusement I opened my tear gummed eyes to see her smiling broadly through her tears.
"If you don't get on now you might be here for a very long time"
I nodded my understanding. My voice was not to be trusted. I was too sad for an ill-advised attempt at levity. I was too in love with her to spoil this moment with a smart arse joke or throwaway line. My uncharacteristic silence communicated more to her than any words.
"No!..You need to get on that train right now!"
She had answered my unspoken question. With feet of lead I stepped up on the carriage. That seemed to trigger an audio assault of shrieking whistle blasts and the wet,sibilant hissing of air brakes. Katya reached up and pressed into my hand a small gold cross on a delicate chain. It had belonged to father and she had told me how much it meant to her. The train was already moving before I realised what it was. Contact was finally broken and I could feel a black hole open up in my heart to suck the light out of the world. She stood perfectly still on the platform and brought the light back to that drab communist station like a sun in human form.
I stood at that window for a long,long time.
Thankfully there weren't many passengers on the train that day and my misery and I had a compartment to ourselves. It needed the space. It didn't matter how broken hearted I was as I had to be mindful of the practicalities of my journey. Soon I would be enjoying the close attention of the dedicated comrades of the Grenztruppen der DDR.
By all accounts the Grepos were utter bastards. They were in effect prison guards for a penitentiary with 16 million inmates. Guards that would show no hesitation in pulling the trigger. They were Glasnost proof and impervious to the terminal rust that was devouring the rest of the Iron Curtain that summer. Not that anyone knew it but the East German regime had less than three months of life left. Even if they did know they were the kind of people who would have gone looking to 'get their kill in' before the end.
At the frontier the Czechs flew through the procedures. They clearly didn't give a shit and were almost affable as they checked my passport against a list on a clipboard. I had nothing to hide or fear but that doesn't mean a bureaucrat can't mess up your day. With a half nod and a yawn I was allowed to leave the CSSR. It seemd like hours but it couldn't have been more than 30 minutes before the train trundled across the border to the DDR.
"If you don't get on now you might be here for a very long time"
I nodded my understanding. My voice was not to be trusted. I was too sad for an ill-advised attempt at levity. I was too in love with her to spoil this moment with a smart arse joke or throwaway line. My uncharacteristic silence communicated more to her than any words.
"No!..You need to get on that train right now!"
She had answered my unspoken question. With feet of lead I stepped up on the carriage. That seemed to trigger an audio assault of shrieking whistle blasts and the wet,sibilant hissing of air brakes. Katya reached up and pressed into my hand a small gold cross on a delicate chain. It had belonged to father and she had told me how much it meant to her. The train was already moving before I realised what it was. Contact was finally broken and I could feel a black hole open up in my heart to suck the light out of the world. She stood perfectly still on the platform and brought the light back to that drab communist station like a sun in human form.
I stood at that window for a long,long time.
Thankfully there weren't many passengers on the train that day and my misery and I had a compartment to ourselves. It needed the space. It didn't matter how broken hearted I was as I had to be mindful of the practicalities of my journey. Soon I would be enjoying the close attention of the dedicated comrades of the Grenztruppen der DDR.
By all accounts the Grepos were utter bastards. They were in effect prison guards for a penitentiary with 16 million inmates. Guards that would show no hesitation in pulling the trigger. They were Glasnost proof and impervious to the terminal rust that was devouring the rest of the Iron Curtain that summer. Not that anyone knew it but the East German regime had less than three months of life left. Even if they did know they were the kind of people who would have gone looking to 'get their kill in' before the end.
At the frontier the Czechs flew through the procedures. They clearly didn't give a shit and were almost affable as they checked my passport against a list on a clipboard. I had nothing to hide or fear but that doesn't mean a bureaucrat can't mess up your day. With a half nod and a yawn I was allowed to leave the CSSR. It seemd like hours but it couldn't have been more than 30 minutes before the train trundled across the border to the DDR.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Zeitgeist Ein
Prague 1989
The thunderstorm lashed the rain under the roof of the platform and peppered us with liquid shrapnel. I pulled her closer to me and paid the rain no heed as I buried my face in her sunshine hair. With my eyes closed I etched the moment in my mind and prayed to any passing deity to freeze us in this moment for eternity. My train was leaving in minutes and I didn't want to leave. The Czechoslovak Socialist Republic border police had different ideas though and there was no question of me overstaying my visa.
Reluctantly I opened my eyes and started the clock again. Katya still kept her eyes closed for another moment. They were brilliant blue and pulled the breath out of me every day. She literally shone and especially so when compared to my green/brown/khaki nondescript. No-one noticed me when we walked down the street.
I pressed the thin wad of korun into her hand. I wouldn't have been able to change it back into hard currency anyway and it would have been of no use to me in the DDR. East German Grenzpolizei wanted western currency for their bribes. Some of the Berlin veterans back home had shit me right up with their tales of attempting to bribe the wrong guard at the frontier. Thousands of East Germans were voting with their feet that summer and fleeing to Czechoslovakia and Hungary and on to West Germany. I couldn't imagine they'd give a rat's arse about me taking the train from Prague to East Berlin even if there weren't many other Westerners in evidence. The map of Europe was a lot different in those days.
A doom laden roll of thunder underscored the tableau. I closed my eyes again and leaned in to kiss her for the last time. A bolt of lightning hiss-cracked across the sky and a tiny bit of my heart did not restart when the shock of it passed.
The thunderstorm lashed the rain under the roof of the platform and peppered us with liquid shrapnel. I pulled her closer to me and paid the rain no heed as I buried my face in her sunshine hair. With my eyes closed I etched the moment in my mind and prayed to any passing deity to freeze us in this moment for eternity. My train was leaving in minutes and I didn't want to leave. The Czechoslovak Socialist Republic border police had different ideas though and there was no question of me overstaying my visa.
Reluctantly I opened my eyes and started the clock again. Katya still kept her eyes closed for another moment. They were brilliant blue and pulled the breath out of me every day. She literally shone and especially so when compared to my green/brown/khaki nondescript. No-one noticed me when we walked down the street.
I pressed the thin wad of korun into her hand. I wouldn't have been able to change it back into hard currency anyway and it would have been of no use to me in the DDR. East German Grenzpolizei wanted western currency for their bribes. Some of the Berlin veterans back home had shit me right up with their tales of attempting to bribe the wrong guard at the frontier. Thousands of East Germans were voting with their feet that summer and fleeing to Czechoslovakia and Hungary and on to West Germany. I couldn't imagine they'd give a rat's arse about me taking the train from Prague to East Berlin even if there weren't many other Westerners in evidence. The map of Europe was a lot different in those days.
A doom laden roll of thunder underscored the tableau. I closed my eyes again and leaned in to kiss her for the last time. A bolt of lightning hiss-cracked across the sky and a tiny bit of my heart did not restart when the shock of it passed.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
"At Long Last God Is In His Place"
Possibly the most underrated band in the history of music. Herself turned me on to these lads in 1993. One of my most enduring memories is booming around San Frascisco that year in her '81 Camaro with this as our soundtrack. A good time in my life.
Apologies for two vids in the same post but today's weather has fucked me right off. Snow flurries? In April? After the glorious week-end we just had? That's taking liberties that is. In response here's a song for the season that's in it.
Apologies for two vids in the same post but today's weather has fucked me right off. Snow flurries? In April? After the glorious week-end we just had? That's taking liberties that is. In response here's a song for the season that's in it.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Tagged!
It's almost as bad as getting sand in my er....sandwich?
But seeing as it's you dahlin' I cannot turn you down.
*Harumph* Six Things Of Total Irrelevance.
The rules are the usual meme ones. Also as usual I won't be following them. Here they are anyway.
1) Put the link of the person who tagged you on your blog.
2) Write the rules.
3) Mention 6 things or habits of no real importance about you.
4) Tag 6 persons adding their links directly.
5) Alert the persons that you tagged them.
The Six ( Is there anything you lot don't know about me at this point?)
1. I have a truly bizarre set of skills that would be of much better use to the Stasi and/or a Mexican drug cartel than my current position.
2. Said current position's contract expires in June. I'm looking for work and I'm willing to relocate.
3. Even if my contract wasn't about to expire I really don't want to live in Washington anymore.
4. At least once a day something brilliant happens to remind me that I'm a woman now. I feckin' well LOVE it.
5. I've spent most of the last three years working at night and essentially hiding away from humanity. I don't want to do that anymore. I really like being around other people now but the isolation did take a toll. I'm not right yet.
6. I love tea but I hate making it for one.
I know I'm supposed to tag six more people but I'll leave it up to yourselves. If you'd like to share fire away and I'll check in next week. We're all going camping now.......as in woods,trees,tents,campfires and beer and not the other camping
But seeing as it's you dahlin' I cannot turn you down.
*Harumph* Six Things Of Total Irrelevance.
The rules are the usual meme ones. Also as usual I won't be following them. Here they are anyway.
1) Put the link of the person who tagged you on your blog.
2) Write the rules.
3) Mention 6 things or habits of no real importance about you.
4) Tag 6 persons adding their links directly.
5) Alert the persons that you tagged them.
The Six ( Is there anything you lot don't know about me at this point?)
1. I have a truly bizarre set of skills that would be of much better use to the Stasi and/or a Mexican drug cartel than my current position.
2. Said current position's contract expires in June. I'm looking for work and I'm willing to relocate.
3. Even if my contract wasn't about to expire I really don't want to live in Washington anymore.
4. At least once a day something brilliant happens to remind me that I'm a woman now. I feckin' well LOVE it.
5. I've spent most of the last three years working at night and essentially hiding away from humanity. I don't want to do that anymore. I really like being around other people now but the isolation did take a toll. I'm not right yet.
6. I love tea but I hate making it for one.
I know I'm supposed to tag six more people but I'll leave it up to yourselves. If you'd like to share fire away and I'll check in next week. We're all going camping now.......as in woods,trees,tents,campfires and beer and not the other camping
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